The Ever ClassicSnake in the tree?
by silverwolvesarecool
Summary: An unusual spin on the typical 'hero saves cat in tree' clique.


**What's up guys!?**

 **Since my last one shot** **Play Ball** **was popular, I decided to create another one shot. There will gradually be more one shots released or few chapter releases whenever I need a break from my current story/stories. Enjoy!**

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If Barry had a nickel for every time he had to rescue a cat out of a tree, he would've been able to buy an island.

Seriously.

Why did almost every single cat in Central City have to take to climbing the tallest trees?

The number of broken bones, bruises, and scrapes alone used up most of the ointment and bandages they had in storage. Even with speed, he couldn't risk lighting the cat on fire with the electricity or making them fluff up into a giant cotton ball from the static. That meant he had to climb it the old fashion way—speed going up, bungee jumping (kind of) down without aid of a rope.

He didn't have acrophobia, but he was _really_ , _really_ , starting to hate the laws of gravity when climbing down. Any time he slipped, he would have to grab a hold of the nearest branch, wait for the world to stop swimming, before continuing his descent. All the while holding onto a squirming and ungrateful feline and occasional _felines_.

Why did most of them almost claw his eyes out when he finally got a hold of them? There were only a few that were chill with it, and would remain calm until he got it down into the arms of their grateful owners. Others well... really needed a priest to preform an exorcism on them.

At this point, after two or so years after getting his powers, when the call for an animal named Lola or Sherbet or Max who was spotted in a tree came in, he wanted to bang his head on the table in exasperation. It was really getting old. _The cats will come down eventually when its hungry. There hasn't been any recorded cat skeletons in trees around the world_ , he wanted to scream, _or you can get the ladder, wear falconer gloves and retrieve it yourself_. But since he was the hero and all, it was necessary. Couldn't show favors for certain tasks rather than others.

That didn't necessarily mean he had to like them.

"Barry!"

Cisco's voice echoed through the intercom and wrapped itself around Barry's barely conscious consciousness. He was in the middle of a nap...again. At first he initially thought he was dreaming, that was until an air horn went off right under his nose.

BLAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

NASA was probably wondering how a human being suddenly arrived in orbit without the aid of booster rockets. Barry came back down to earth with a bang, landing flat on his tail bone and missing the chair he was sleeping in by mere inches. Once his vision came into focus, he spotted his friend standing off to the side, holding onto a miniature air horn and with a wide grin on his face. That was when Barry realized, that his friend had been standing next to him the entire time—or at least teleported here when he decided to wake him up.

"What the hell Cisco?" the speedster muttered grabbing onto the edge of the chair for support as he pulled himself up, "You think you could've done it any louder?"

"You should've seen the look on your face," his friend chortled, "It turned pure white, and if you could fly you would've gone straight through the ceiling."

"Don't tempt me to shock you," Barry warned though he wouldn't have gone through with the threat, also resisting the urge to look up to double check he hadn't done what Cisco described, "You'll have paper sticking to your head for days." He frowned slightly before cracking his neck to get rid of the sore kink in it, "What was the wake up alarm for?"

"952 on Boardwalk," Cisco responded putting the air horn down without any form of apology forthcoming.

"Public drinking?" Barry asked wearily slightly touching his forehead and splaying his fingers out.

He really didn't want to go through the whole guessing game for different rule violations. Not when he was still half-asleep.

"Erm..." Cisco scratched his head and looked down at his hand upon which he had scribbled something, "Girl was calling about her pet named Fluffy being stuck in a tree on—"

Barry cut him off with a groan and pinched the bridge of his nose, "You know...I used to like cats before this. Now, I'm really starting to hate them."

"I'll get the ointment ready," his friend offered and scrambled out of the room.

~~~...~~~

Barry skidded to a stop within a couple of feet of the tree. Squinting he tried to make out to shape of a feline against the green foliage. He couldn't see any grey, black, white or any of the usual coloration and guessed the animal had crawled somewhere out of his view.

Great.

That was when he saw it. A sinewy shape that was inching its way against the branches of the tree. Not fur, rather black and brown molted scales.

In other words it was a snake. A dwarf boa constrictor to be more specific barely two feet long.

His silence must have been surprising since Cisco activated the comn link and asked, "So is it a demon cat or a calm cat? Cause I have a priest from Saint Thomas on speed dial if need be."

The speedster decided to not point out that his friend clearly had been watching the _Exorcism_ way too much.

"It's a scaly cat," Barry muttered.

"You mean the Particle Accelerator mutated a cat?" Cisco made a face, "If that wasn't a frightening enough of a thought, I'd be laughing right now."

"Its a snake."

"Why the hell would you name a snake Fluffy?! That would be like naming a goldfish Bugs Bunny."

Barry didn't respond, rather choosing to scan his surroundings for a ladder as the tree was too tall and thick to run up. He spotted two construction workers struggling to carry one out the back end of a their truck and raced up to them. One of the workers rummaged for his phone and struggled to take photos, while the other who was the only one wearing a safety vest just stared in shock. Silently, the speedster indicated he wished to borrow it, making sure to point to tree to show where he was going to taken.

It was as if someone had attached the two to an electric prank buzzer, as their motions suddenly became more animated then just staring with their mouths open.

"The Flash is asking me to borrow my ladder?" the worker wearing the orange safety vest grinned widely, "I'd let you borrow the whole damn truck if you wanted."

"Lets not," Barry admitted, taking care to disguise his voice as by this time the other construction worker was videotaping the encounter.

He helped them carry it over to the tree. Though the ladder was made of aluminum, it was extremely bulky and hard to maneuver into place. It took about five minutes for the three of them to balance the ladder against the tree trunk. The entire time, the snake curled itself around a branch and hung its head down to study them. It's tongue flickered out but it stayed still.

Barry started up the ladder, while one construction worker held onto the ladder. The other put his phone away—as his companion forced him to—and kept a look out. The ladder shook and rattled as the speedster made his way up. He kept looking at the ladder rungs until the top of his head brushed against the branches. Blindly, he brushed the leaves out of his face.

He looked around trying to make out his surroundings and to located the reptile. Some crawled over his arm and he nearly fell off the ladder. The snake had wormed its way across the branches and was making a break for it.

With no other choice, Barry shot his free hand out and snatched the back of its neck—his other was clinging onto the ladder and branch for dear life as the ladder unexpecting swayed below his feet. Fluffy's mouth open in surprise, and hissing loudly, his tongue flickered out furiously as he tried to find out who had grabbed him. Fortunately, snakes had bad eyesight which was about the only thing preventing the boa from taking a chunk out of the speedster's hand. The ladder stilled as the construction worker managed to wedge it into a crack and hold onto it with a tighter grasp.

"Sorry!" he called up.

Gingerly, Barry relaxed his grip, allowing the snake to settle down and wrap itself around his arm. He was a tad bit more fond of reptiles than felines, having gone to reptile camp when he was twelve, but still holding onto made him a bit nervous. Snakes were hard to read personality wise, one moment they would be calm and the next they'd try biting the hand that fed them—literally. Personally, he'd rather have held a sedated snake while balancing precariously on a ladder rather than an alert one.

But for the moment, Fluffy seemed content despite moving in and out of Barry's fingers. Swallowing hard, the speedster balanced carefully on the ladder and managed to make it down by using his one free hand. Once his feet touched the ground, he walked over to a little girl who was standing in a nearby doorstep with a big grin on her face, her two front teeth were missing exposing a big gap between her teeth.

"You got him!" she cried.

"Um yeah kid," Barry fumbled with the reptile for a moment before extracting it from his arm and plopping it into her hands, "How about you put a proper lock on his cage next time huh?"

The girl giggled showing the tooth gap and started stroking the reptile on the head. She dashed off without so much as a thank you. Barry straightened up, sighed heavily, before wandering back over to the two workers.

"Thanks for the ladder," he muttered wiping his hands off on his pants.

He raced off, but not before painting the entire building they were assigned to in a matter of seconds.

~~~...~~~

"A snake. A freaking snake. You were afraid of a freaking snake!"

Cisco was giggling uncontrollably every single time Barry tried spelling out _exactly_ what happened. He was tempted to even have his friend talk to the construction workers.

"I'm...sorry...bro," Cisco was gasping at this point, "I...just find it...hard to see...you...scared...of snakes."

"I'm not scared of snakes," Barry grumbled, "I don't have Ophidiophobia. And by the way, you don't see me making fun of you having Melissophobia."

His friend stopped laughing for a moment and asked with a confused expression on his face, "Melisso-what?"

"An irrational fear of bees."

Cisco paled for a moment, recalling the number of times he had called Barry when a bee had become trapped in the lab. He hated bees. He knew they were good for the environment, but he couldn't get past the stinger and the buzzing noise. And the fact he had nearly died after being stung by a robot one.

"Ok..." he grumbled, "You got me. Bet you're glad that the snake was a meta-snake."

"Ha, ha, ha," Barry rolled his eyes and stood up, sending his roll-away seat spinning into the corner, "I still remember you going on about that giant meta-tarantula the other day. And it turned out to be an escaped Goliath spider from the Central City Zoo."

"Those things a freaking huge!" Cisco squeaked, "You'd think so to if that thing landed on the hood of your car!" He frowned, "I haven't forgiven you for standing there laughing your head off for five minutes."

The speedster snorted before answering his cell phone which was vibrating in his pocket, "Speaking of spiders, Joe's calling me right now to I.D. some spider that took up residents in Sergeant Mike Thompson's desk. Why am I the one who always has to relocate lizards, spiders, and the occasional worm that makes its way into the police station?"

"Who knows dude. Hey...isn't Thompson the guy who decided that dropping a vat full of slime on you for April Fools was a good idea?"

"Technically he was aiming for Julian something he admitted to later and apologized," Barry admitted before snorting, "And yes. It is the same guy. I guess he has a phobia of spiders. Funny...really didn't peg him for a non-arachnoid pet since his son has a pet tarantula." Spotting a devilish grin upon Cisco's face the speedster shook his head, "You better not use this as blackmail" hoping his friend would recall the time he discovered he could open a breech large enough to stick his hand through with a handheld camera (using it fortunately to force a cat burglar into returning stolen goods in exchange for a lighter prison sentence).

"What is that suppose to mean?" Cisco replied indignantly before realizing all he was talking to was the space Barry had occupied a moment earlier, "I really need to stop doing that."

~Fin

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 **Another one shot completed! If you guys have any suggestions for future ones, feel free to leave ideas in the comments!**

 **~Sil**


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